Tuesday, April 14, 2009


So, I go to Target to pick up a few gifts and while I am there I thought I would check out what they carried, if any, to "plump up" my aging lips. My lips are beginning...okay, they have been for quite some time.....oh alright, years if you want to get specific, starting to thin out and with that comes lines here and there and everywhere.

As I stroll down the various isles, I can hear a lady asking a customer, "can I help you find something?" Well, I take a wide detour as I don't want to ask anyone where the stuff is. Call me vain, but it's not like asking for a brand of lip stick or foundation etc. Who wants to call attention to their defects! So I am pushing my cart REAL slow and as I round the corner out pops the sales lady, scares the crap out of me.... she must be in her mid 60's. "Can I help you find something?" Shit, I say to myself, "ahhh, my DAUGHTER is looking for a lip plumper and she says they carry it here at Target so I am trying to find it. I have NO CLUE what I am looking for." "Oh", she says, "we have this kind here (some unknown brand) and down this isle here we have, Sexy Motherpucker." I thrust my head back, what the hell did she just say, did she say Sexy Mother*ucker! I said to myself. Then I look up at the package and was shocked out of my zone. I knew y'all wouldn't believe me so I included the package here......"This one is a few dollars more at $10. " the sales lady said, and I am like, "well, I don't know which one she wants so I will just have to call her. Thanks for your help". I was so entranced by this package that I stood there with both packages in my hands and I kept gravitating towards the Sexy one. I even got out my cell phone and made the fake call to my, the woman wouldn't go AWAY! Well ladies, there was really no choice, I had to get the Sexy Motherpucker lip plumper, I mean I am 46 yeas old and it says it's Crucial for Sexual Attraction!

I know, you want to know if it works? YES it does! I put it on at work and I it was SO tingly I thought my lips were popping out of their skin. I must have looked at my compact mirror a dozen times. lol It is a very thick gloss. So ladies, if you are looking for a bit of plump in your pucker, hahahaha ya only need to try this.


GrandmaK said...

Very funny...With my luck my lips would plump because I was allergic to the lip plumper. Then I'd have to take benedryl and alas fall asleep because it makes me feel soooo drowsy! So much for my lip crisis! HEHEHEHE!!! Cathy

Sparky ♥ ∞ said...

I'm with GrandmaK above. That would just be my luck. [lol]

Aussie Therese said...

lol. I wish I was a fly on the wall when you went into the shop Melody.

Debbies-English-Treasures said...

Hello my sweet friend,
I sure missed reading your funny HAHA posts!
Thank you so muchhhhhhhhhhhhhh for your email!
I just been so busy with E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G!
I wish thAt I could have three of me to help me to do, everything that I need doing in a daily basis! And it doesn`t help that I`m, not very organized, at all!!
Specially when I`m on the computer, I can easily do nothing else that just blogging, so for that reason, I decided not to accept comments... While I`m trying to juggle how better to organize my life!
So far no luck! My little Treasures have been off school for the EASTER holidays, so I had less time, that I had before!!!
Now speaking about you, that post it`s one of the funny ones, that I have ever read!
It put a BIG SMILE on my freckled and spotty face! Lol
Off now, but I will be back!
Much Love to you, and your sister!
Hope that she is well, also!
Debbie Moss


Ginger said...

OMG you sound just like me, Melody. Too embarassed to just come out and say it's for me.
That's a funny name, I would of picked it too.

Lady Katherine said...

Hi, I loved reading about the lip pucker! I could use it! Really funny, but glad it works. I loved even more reading about the mannequin! Your hubby was so sweet to say he was looking at his Mannequin! Mine just thinks I am making it up if someone says something or the guy is desperate! lol

Theresa @ Take A Sentimental Journey said...

I might have to try some of that. Hope it doesn't make me look like a chimpanzee....LOL .

Laura Ingalls Gunn said...

I have seen this and other products at Target and wondered. (Although my problem is now I have skimpy eyelashes~ the lips are still good.:)

I think it is sort of a knock off of the more expensive Benefit cosmetics that also use tongue in cheek titles.

Stitcher S said...

Well, I too have developed allergies (severe ones, had to go to E.R.) in my forties so I would also probably be allergic to it. Sigh. (In fact, my lips did get bigger once--due to allergies!)

As far as eyelashes go, I know a gal who uses glaucoma medication just so her eyelashes get thicker. It really works, but it is a bit costly.

It's always a pleasure to visit your blog.

Barbara said...

Very funny. They always hang around when you are trying to pretend it is for someone else.
Think I'll pass this time though.

Steph said...

Well, hot darn and good news!

The Dutchess said...

Goodness,I didn't even know something like this existed...:)))

MuseSwings said...

I've been wondering about that stuff myself! I've been concerned about bying it because 1)I don't want to look like Octomom's grandmother and 2) I'm concerned that once they start plumping they won't know when to stop. Or they'll fall off.
Come to French Spa with me on Tuesday - we can all get our lips plumped.

Jorgelina said...

Very funny!!

Michelle said...

OH MY GOSH, I was laughing so hard at this post. You are so funny!! I could just see it all playing out in my head. I tried using lip plumper but it just felt like a thousand bees stinging my lips!!

Rosie said...

Like you I don't like going in shops where the assistants jump out at you and want to help. This post made me laugh, Melody - as I'd probably have done just them same. At least it works though:)

Connie said...

You are too funny! I tried one of those lip plumpers and it is tingly. I didn't see that much change except I couldn't forget my lip because they were tingly for quite a while! Thanks for the Saturday morning chuckle! Connie

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