Well, I am going to be a Grandmother. My youngest son (20) is going to be a Father. As I sit and write this I am having writers block. This is all backwards as they are not married, still live at home and don't have jobs with medical. Me, I like the order of things as God laid it out. His girlfriend will be moving into our home in a few months as there is no room at the Inn so to speak. I should mention that she will be 18 in April. More writers block...... She comes from a broken home, "twice", father not in the picture. She is a very lovely girl and we do like her. It could be worse I keep telling myself. We don't get to pick our children's mates and it is always a plus when you like their choice.
I had joked to my son the day before the big news that if he was ever going to get married I'd prefer it be her. HA, joke on me.....:) Anyway....as you might not imagine her Catholic mother was strongly pushing abortion which shocked me because I thought Catholics were strongly against that. I must say that in my younger years I was pro-abortion but over my years in growing as a Christian I have changed my views thanks to Dr. Dobson and Focus on the Family. As much as I feel this is the wrong time in their lives for a baby I am glad they have decided to keep it. I can probably say that because he is already an adult.... But, then again it is not my choice to make. The girlfriends mom loves her daughter and wants what is best for her, is having a hard time thinking that her daughters future is going down the drain. Mother wants us to be on her side but we had to tell her that we were powerless in her daughters choice to keep or not keep this baby and we would support both children in the choice they made. They have to live with the consequences of their choice either way. Both kids have graduated highschool already and are still going through with their life plans, he in law enforcement and she a Nurse, she actually starts college in January, they are very determined. So we shall see how they persevere.
So......giving up what we thought was going to be our empty-nester years soon and honestly I was really looking forward to it, we will be preparing to bring another life into our home until they can get a place of their own. I am still in shock mode and probably will be for some time as I am not mentally ready for this. Any advise and or prayers are welcome!!!!!!
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39 comments:
It is a good news/bad news sort of situation. I have no advice since I have no experience with that situation, either myself, or among my family/friends, but I will definitely keep all of you in my thoughts (and yes, having grown up Catholic, I can attest that abortion is against church doctrine).
Hugs!!
Melody,
Congratulations! Even though society has set certain expectations, we have to think of how lucky we are and how blessed we are. I think you will be blessed with a wonderful family, a wonderful new grandchild and life will be great! My New Year's resolution is to think positively, not to let the little things in life get to me as much as they used to and truly be thankful than to think about what I don't have. My best friend and I are starting a new blog and writing a book together we hope will get this message across to everyone! Here's to a prosperous (in many, many ways) New Year to you and your family and everyone! xoxo
Michelle, Mocha and Quincy. :)
Hi Grandma to be! Still weird to me calling you that too. So have you thought of a name you want to be called or are you going with simply... Grandma?
If you want to come by later and do my new workout video with me, I'm going to be making home-made Gingerbread Latte's later ~warm milk with spices and coffee is all it is really~ the kids like the milk. ha ha
Well, I do have experience in this situation. I was had my daughter when I was only 16. My parents supported us in any decision that was made. We got married right away. My daughter was born when I was only 24 weeks pg. I am so grateful to the lord for saving our baby. Nothing happens by mistake. I never got pg again. This was one of the most precious gifts I could ask for. My daughter means everything to me. They can both still have their careers!! I just know you will be there to encourage them. And help them where you can. of course, you have room at The Inn!! God doesn't make mistakes. You'll have what you need to make this work.
Hugs, Terrie
Hi Melody,
First I want to thank you for the Christmas Spirit Award, which I just saw today. The holidays were so hectic and then an after Christmas sale at my store, I just had no time to blog. So, Thank you so much for the award! As far as your son, I believe that there is always a bigger picture that we don't always know the answers to. We would all love to live in a perfect world where everything happens in the proper order. We just must accept that God has another plan. I read a saying once, that the nest is never empty for long..... I know you're in a bit of shock right now, but be happy! Wonderful moments are ahead.
Happy New Year to you and your family!
Carol
Oh! Melody what mixed emotions you must be experiencing. In the circumstances which you obviously cannot change you sound like youu are doing the right thing by being there for them so that they can keep the baby. I do pray that you will have the wisdom to know what to do at every turn. The important thing I think is that the baby will be their child and you will be the Grandmother. I have known families where the Grandmother has become the Mother with disastrous consequences later in life.
Once over the shock and the practicalities you will be blown away by the love you have for your Grandchild. Nothing prepares one for it. Blessings.
Oh my. So sorry to hear you must deal with this now. I too have mixed emotions but am so THRILLED that the child will not be killed. I would humbly suggest, though, that if they keep said baby, they should marry *today*. Tomorrow when the courthouse is open, go down get a license, make it all nice and legal. Then, at a later date, have a nice big wedding with presents, etc. and they can play house. It's not fun being a b.astard, I know, because I've had to live with that all my life. I hope they marry soon for the child. They've already had the honeymoon.
God bless pal.
Sparky ♥ ∞
Congratulations! I think you will be blessed with a wonderful family, a wonderful new grandchild.
Absolutely fantastic post! Good job!
Great! Keep writing…….
Good week……… You are Welcomed to my blog…….
" A Happy New Year''
Hi Melody:
Congratulations on the news that you will be a grandma. The kids are so very lucky to have your support and you will get so much pleasure from the darling baby when he/she comes. Sometimes things don't happen the way we want (my son too, had a baby out of wedlock) but life is so short, just enjoy this new challenge.
Congratulations!!! You have a great attitude and I'm sure that will help your son and his girlfriend a lot! Your support will mean so much to them! I wish them the best! Hugs ~Cindy
Don't worry dear Melody..its a wonderful Christmas gift...Your Son has you and your husbands qualities and he will do just fine...he will be a strong and loving parent.(like you)
Congrats...I think its going to be a girl....can you hear a little Melody in the air..
May God bless you all. Simply cherish each moment! God is good and He will provide. Give moral support,love and lots of hugs all 'round. It will be a struggle I am sure, but the child conceived will bring such joy!!! Cathy (Grandma of 9 and each a treasure!)
I know it's a shock but Congratulations and you will love being a grandmother! Everything happens for a reason and imagine the great influence you will be on your grandchild! I don't see your son and his girlfriend's lives "going down the drain." They will just be different and a little more difficult.
Blessings,
Laura
Melody, I can't offer you any advice, I'm afraid, I don't have children so haven't been in this situation. Just be there to listen and help when they need some re-assurance during what will be challenging times. Congratulations and Happy New Year:)
Wow! My thoughts and prayers are with you. The journey may be a bit bumpy and different than anticipated, but filled with times of joy and unexpected blessings. I'm glad your son has parents like you to support them through this next part of the journey.
I believe that everything happens for a reason also. I was 16 years old when I got pregnant. My boyfriend and I were very scared. We knew that we wanted our baby and we wanted to be a family. We married within 3 weeks of finding out. We stayed with his grandparents whom I believe were angels. His grandma taught me so much about how to raise a baby and how to be a good wife. They grew very attached to our daughter and they were always extra close. We all were. They are in heaven now and I know they would be so happy to know how our daugher turned out. She is almost 26 yeas old now and she and her husband just had their first baby. He is 6 months old. He lookes so much like her when she was a baby. It brings back so many memories. I want to be as close to them as her grandparents were to us and always be there for them. They will remember it always. You are doing the right thing. You will be blessed.
Hugs, Lee Laurie
Please stop by my blog to pick up an award I created for you! Happy New Year!
Laura
Look at all this wonderful support you have in bloggyland!
I know your back to work so when you have time~ stop by my blog there is an award for you!
Melody,
I'm glad your cat was able to get out on the leash. You are a good mother. :) I dont' think I've ever seen a picture of her..is it in an earlier post maybe? Hope you have a wonderful New Year dear!
Congratulations on becoming a Grandma, Melody!
You are obviously a fantastic parent and with you to support them, I am sure your daughter and her boyfriend will cope very well. My close friend's daughter became pregnant at a very young age much to my friends dismay but everything has worked out wonderfully. My friend dotes on her gorgeous grandson,her daughter took to motherhood like a duck to water and has now resumed college too.
Good Luck.
Excellent post. My husband and I received similar news 10 years ago, except that it came from our daughter and the father desserted her. I told my husband the night we received the news that something told me it was the son he always wanted. (God gave me those words that night.) The next few months were extremely difficult. This daughter and I have always struggled to get along. I got through each day by journaling in The Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude. Friends kept telling me becoming a grandparent was the best thing in the world. How could it be in our situation, I wondered. I am here today to tell you it is the BEST! We still experience difficult times with our daughter. We adopted our son, the son we always wanted. He is a joy and a blessing. He brings happiness to us every day. We have other grandchildren, too. Being a Grandma is the best thing ever. Being a mom and dad at our advanced ages is even better. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Blessings on your new grandbaby!!!!! have her call you 'beautiful' who needs grannie? just kidding but wouldn't that be fun? Someone told me that once and I thot it was a hoot! My daughter had a child without marrying and she was the best little bundle of love ever. Her favorite books were Sesame Streets Big Bird and her children's bible...both of them totally worn...you will have a great influence on this child...I cherished my time reading my granddaughter the bible and big bird...these moments are precious and sacred really. Go Beautiful!
Hi Melody!!
Congratulations!
Happy new year!!!
Hugs
Melody, my best wishes to you for a very happy and prosperous new year. I hope 2009 brings you all the things you wish for, as well as good health and good times...many many good times.
HAPPY 2009!!!
Meloday, I left my prior comment without reading your post, but now have read your post. Well, well, well! What can I say, life has thrown you and your family a curve ball. Now your plans have been made tossed salad. Melody, I have a teenage daughter and I can relate to your son's girlfriend's mom. We all have such high hopes and aspirations for our children! However, time and tide work their magic. I know of a few families who started out like your son...i.e., teen pregnancy, unsettled lives, and with hard work and perserverance, they eventually managed okay, got settled, houses, jobs, good stable families, etc. There is alot of light at the end of the tunnel, but sometimes, the tunnel is dark going when you are nowhere near the end. Does that make any sense? A baby is one of God's blessings, as we all know, one of the very best. This baby and his parents will have alot of support and that will make all the difference to its future. All my best wishes to you and yours...
all things happen for a reason, sometimes it takes time to figure out what the reason was....
Congrats to all of you as it is a blessing, and when it all sinks in you will be so happy.
A Happy New Year to you and your family,
Gill in Canada
Hi Melody
I saw your comment on Cynthia's blog and so I thought I'd stop over and meet you. You sure are ina situation where you can experience God's grace! I know that a baby is always pleasing to God no matter the circumstances. This baby is going to bring great joy to everyone in your family. Things don't always work out as we planned. Actually, the older I get I can say they seldom work out as we planned :)
I'm glad to have met you today.
I hope that you get to experience God's joy in a huge way in 2009.
Rhondi
Oh Melody I am praying for you now, as the clock strikes midnight ringing in 2009. I could sense the anxiety in your words. Maybe it's appropriate that I am reading your post just now. My mother was 18 when I was born and my dad was 21. I, too, was conceived out of wedlock while both my mom and dad were still living with their parents. I am so thankful that abortion was not an option in 1965, or I might not be here writing this. But God in His wisdom put me into the midst of that situation... though it was tough growing up in a home where arguments were the norm rather than the exception. I came to know the Lord at 18 myself and then my mom did through my sharing with her. I have learned to trust Him. He has taken the ashes of what should have been a disastrous situation and made them beautiful. He can do the same for your son and his girlfriend... and for you. I pray that 2009 will turn out to be the most blessed year of your life.
Christi
Dear Melody,
What mixed emotions you must have about this. I think it is wonderful your son and his girlfriend are willing to keep this child. I would stay focused on that.
I am truly sorry to hear about a Catholic mother wanting her grandchild aborted. I really cannot understand why someone would call themselves Catholic and then go against the churches teaching on this.
a little baby is always a wonderful event, congratulations to you and yours. How wonderful that you are so supportive to your son and his partner. Wishing you all the very best for 2009.
Jan
Hey Melody,
BTW I meant to mention that there is a widget device one can put on a blog that shows how far along a baby is (as they develop in the womb). I think there's still one on SoulBrush's blog for her grandchild. You can put one here so we can 'watch' him/her grow with you, if so desired. A new life is a wonderful thing and we'll rejoice with you. It'll all work out. God is bigger than all of us and our problems and HE always loves you.
Be chatting with ya!
((Hugs))
Sparky ♥ ∞
Melody,
A baby is a blessing even if they don't come to us as we had hoped. It's not going to be easy for them or you, but just think how wonderful Christmas will be never year!
Prayers for the new family and grandparents-to-be.
((HUGS))
Holly
You are a loving mom - and I admire how you are learning to be a parent to an adult. That is not an easy transition. Blessings to the family all around!
Melody, congratulations on your grandbaby! Of course, I understand that this is quite a lot to take in. I'm sure it will mean so much to them to have a safe and loving place to call home, so you're already being a big help.
I will keep your family in prayer for a healthy pregnancy and God's protection and provisions all around. {hugs}
I pray for God to give both familys answers. I have a daughter that was 20 and unmarried, Her husband is 3 years younger. She had cancer, and was going for another surgery, that she would not be able to have a child. She did not want surgery. I sent her for more tests, I was out of state working all year. Her test can back clean. A few weeks later she was going to have a baby. She planned this child, and we love him so. They married, as soon as job let us come for wedding and now have a 5 year old and a almost 3 year old. After the second baby birth she had to have surgery. No not for cancer, it never came back. She would not have the two wonderful children she has if I had not been supportive. With the husband being so young, he did not go to college as he dreamed. But he has a great job and making more than, if he went to college. I kept telling my husband, what if in ten years, she wants a baby and can not have one. Yes it has been hard, hubby and I working out of state, then my cancer came three days after her test were clean. We helped with money, and bought everything the baby needed and more. lol God Bless You and your families in this time. My Grandchildren are my little angels, for they have kept me here, when cloudy days appeared.
Lady Katherine, an Angel was certainly on yours and your daughters shoulder. Cancer does not always have a happy ending and I am very happy to know that was in your famly. God Bless.
Hi Melody,
I know this is SO hard to deal with but a baby can never be a bad thing. An innocent, perfect, little gift. Although the circumastances are not ideal (are they ever when it comes to this?) Your son and his girlfriend are very lucky to have you , so is that baby! You'll see all will be well & turn out as it should. What is that saying...God only gives us what we can handle. My prayers and warm wishes are with you!
xoxo
Judith
Melody, I remember having some of the same feelings. My daughter went off to college engaged to her now husband. She spent two years away from him and home when she decided she was quitting college. She didn't come home she moved in with him. I had a BIG problem with that. We were planning her wedding for June of 2008 when on July 10, 2007 she came and told me and my husband she was pregnant. Not only that but that she was due in October. That was in 3 months! I was only 43 and thought I wouldn't be a grandmother for several more years. She had had Aunt Flo visit all the way up to her 6th month. She didn't even look pregnant! My husband and I were having a bad spell but her news made all of that go out the window. We want so much for our children and it hurts when it doesn't happen. We don't want them to struggle and with an unplanned family it usually is a struggle. They have had quite a time but have managed to stay in their own home. I was feeling sorrow, because she wasn't married. I was feeling scared because she was on the pill for 6 months of this pregnancy and taking preventive shots for that HPV virus thingy. I was concerned for my grandbaby's health, her health and her future. They married the next month. Everything has worked out great. I love my grandbaby so much and he brings such joy just looking at his little face. Also, I am going to be a Grammy again! Just found out night before last. I am nothing but happy and excited!
I know everything will be ok. I agree with Paris Atelier 'God only gives you what you can handle' and a baby is such a miraculous gift. Congratulations!!!
I just found you tonight and know exactly how you feel. My son and his girlfriend brought us that same news just 3+ years ago. It took me a long time to come to terms with it. Long story short...my precious granddaughter, Bella will be 3 tomorrow, her parents married(because we thought it was the right thing to do), they divorced, got back together at one time, had their son, Dylan and my son and his wife were remarried two weeks ago in a wonderful ceremony that was planned by them. It has been a long journey and not an easy one. Just take one day at a time and know that God will help you through it all. You will be blessed by that little one more than you know. You can read more about it on my blog or email me if you need to talk. Praying for you, your son, his girlfriend, your husband and family. It is a humbling experience to say the least. God is good. Connie
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