Saturday, June 19, 2010

Company Policy

Ever wonder about how Company Policies got started?  Let me give you some insight:

Start with a cage containing five apes.

In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it.  Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.  As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water.  After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result - all the apes are sprayed with cold water.  This continues through several more attempts.

Pretty soon, when another apes tries to climb the stairs, the other apes all try to prevent it.  Now, turn off the cold water.  Remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one.  The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs.  To  his horror, all of the other apes attack him.  After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remover another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one.  The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked.  The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.  Again, replace a third original ape with a new one.  The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well.  Two of the four apes that beat him have no idea why they they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape. 

After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes, which have been sprayed with cold water, have been replaced.  Nevertheless, no ape ever again approaches the stairs.  Why not? Because that's the way they've always done it and that's the way it's always been around here.

And that's how company policy begins.......

Monday, June 14, 2010

Job Search Key Phrases

A lot of people today are out of jobs or looking to change careers so let me help you with some key phrases to look out for.  I came upon these in a pamphlet today and the humor is that most of them are probably true!! 
COMPETITIVE SALARY:  We remain competitive by paying less than our competition.

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:  We have no time to train you.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:  We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED:  You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:   Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY:  Anyone in the office can boss you around.

MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:  We have no quality control.

CAREER-MINDED:  Female applicants must be childless ( and remain that way).

APPLY IN PERSON:  If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:  We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

and last........

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:  You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Here she is, the face of perfection!

Although it might look like she has red hair here, she really has light blond.  It is the most kissable face ever!  At 9 months she is developing such a personality.  She is still a pretty serious little thing, takes a lot to make her laugh.

She had the opportunity to spend the afternoon with me at work yesterday due to cancellation of babysitter.  I work with ALL MEN and she had them all trying to get her to smile but she only gave a couple out lol.  Everything was going smoothly until I noticed that her daddy forgot her formula, thought I was going to hyperventilate, two bottles of water and no formula, fortunately I found a couple of jars of solid food in there.  Nothing like talking to NASA on the phone with one hand and spoon feeding her chicken vegetable with the other hand, multi-talented I am.  She played very quietly in her high chair behind my desk.  I would alternate holding her and sitting her in the highchair.  I quickly found that you can't have a desk full of papers and be holding her at the same time cause she just took that left hand and did a full sweep and in the blink of an eye my papers went flying!  Now why would I think that things on my desk would be any interest to her??

In the end it was a great afternoon that I will always remember.  She was quiet, and funny and you would have never known she was there she was so good.  What was the bestest part you ask?  Well you didn't but I'll tell you anyway, I got to use the carpool lane on the way home!!!!!!!  Two or more people and she is considered a "people" hahaha

Saturday, May 8, 2010

True Test Answers!

I thought I'd share some funnny test answers I came across while surfing the internet.  Some had me laughing till my gut hurt, some I could swear were written by people I know. haha

Q:  Name four seasons.
A:  Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q:  What happens to boys when they reach puberty?
A:  He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultrey.

Q:  Name a major disease associated with ciggaretts
A:  Premature death.

Q:  How can you delay milk turning sour?
A:  Keep it in the cow

Q:  What does "benign" mean?
A:  Benign is what you be after you be eight.

Q:  What does a Hindu
A:   It lays eggs

Hard to believe isn't?? Hope you enjoyed a quick laugh.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Jackie and Audrina

My daughger Jackie recently forwarded these pictures to me and I was caught at how they both seemed to be comtemplating something, deep in thought but very content to be holding each other. Aunt and Niece what were they thinking I wonder....... Actually, I am thinking I can't take my eyes off of these pictures, I think they are worthy of a photographic Nobel Prize! Now that I think about it, I took these pictures with Jackies iPhone haha

I guess the thinking got to be tiring for Audrina as she is fast asleep.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Fresh start in 2010

Well, my friends I know it has been many months since I last blogged. Alot has happened in our lives that have kept me from having the time to blogg. First, my daughter and her husband have parted ways earlier this year. This was was very tough for everyone involved and as the wedding was basically my last big post it was kinda hard to get back into it cause quite frankly I didn't know what to post about. Sometimes you just need a break for a while to get motivated again. Plus, my brother getting on my case about not blogging (yes he reads my blogs) and how if Janeen can find the time to blog in her busy life so can I lol. Second, I began watching my beautiful eight month old granddaughter Audrina. YES, I said 8 months old, it has been THAT long, can you believe it? Anyway, I watch her on Friday nights and Saturday day, my bonding time and that in itself took me away from my free blogging time.

So today's post is dedicated to my brother Don so he will get off my case on blogging, lolol.

Don and I took Audrina and his son Bradley to Ocean Beach in San Francisco last Saturday. The weather was beautiful for a while but then it took a quick turn to the cold and windy side. Although I live only about 45 minutes from San Francisco, I rarely go as I hate driving the streets of it. As it was it took us FOREVER to get to the beach cause of the bumper to bumper traffic on a late Saturday afternoon which is unheard of!

I don't know what she was looking at but she is a very serious child. Takes a lot to make her laugh or smile. It's like she is just taking everything in that tiny brain and analysing it to see whether it is worth laughing at or not. Isn't this a cute hat, got it at the 99 cent store!

I bought her this tiny, I mean tiny bucket at the store the day before it was too cute and just her size.

She really loved the sand. This was the only smile caught on camera. I think she liked picking it up and watching it fall out of her hands and then she realized she could throw it, ya, that was fun.

Oh boy can she crawl in the sand. It was like she just glided over it like it was ICE. Very nerve wracking really.

She saw some pelicans and she was OFF to catch one. Oh how she loved to watch the waves too.

Her she is sitting with her Great Uncle Don when we first got there. So serious she is.....
Thank you for stopping by, I have a few more posts to do so stay tuned.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

I got an award!

My friend RoyalT Lady was kind enough to give me this "Gorgeous Blogger Award"! She has an awesome blog so please stop by and say hi. It took me a few days to get over and get it but I am glad I did. I am supposed to tell you six things about myself that you don't know and then ask six other lovely ladies to join me but since I have been out of the blogging world for a bit I will just leave this open to anyone who would like to join in the fun.

1. I will be married for 25 years next Tuesday, December 1st!

2. I am a grandmother at the age of 46 and I am really getting into the role and I just love it. I wasn't sure how I would feel about it at first but when she looks at me and smiles my heart just melts.

3. My husband and I commute to work together, each lunch together everyday. We enjoy each others company and now that the kids are gone we are rediscovering each other and enjoying being grandparents.

4. My favorite food is Italian, I'll do anything for a glass of wine and some garlic bread lol

5. I love to go motorcycle riding up in Gods country which to me is the mountains and country roads.

6. Last but not least....I love a good romance novel.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

The baby girls...and other news

A while back I told you about my husband bringing home a wiener dog named Harley. Well, Harley is still here and she has taken a fancy to Audrina. We found out that this dog is a cross between a Chihauhau and a wiener dog. The REAL official name of the breed is.......drum roll please.......Chaweinie! Yes, you heard me right.

Well when Audrina is in her favorite napping position, Harley decides it's time to nap too!

I have been doing alot of babysitting so to speak and I just love it. As a matter of fact Audrina is in my arms right now as I type this post! I have had a lot of relearning to do. Such as how to prepare formula, change a diaper, OMGosh the cost of these two items can send young parents into bankruptcy no doubt. Yesterday at Target I bought one can of 28oz powder formula and one box of 192 size 1 diapers to keep at my house and with out the $5 coupon I had it would have cost $55. Outrageous I tell you. Back then we used to tell our kids it was very expensive to raise kids, well NOW IT IS NO JOKE!
OH, OH, OH, BIG NEWS, Audrina spend the night last night and I fed her at 9pm and she slept until 7am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, that is right, she slept through the night and I got it first!!!! (I also got the poopiest diaper ever as a reward) hahahahaha. She is only about a month and a half too.
THE WEDDING is officially 4 weeks away and we have a few things to do: Buy the candy for the favors, stuff the favors, buy the toasting champagne and when we are all done....drink a glass of wine. We will do that next weekend. This weekend Jackie and the girls are in San Francisco doing the Bachelorette thing. I am getting excited. Yesterday, Jackie went to get her hair and makeup done for a trial before the wedding and she hated it. What a shame..Hope fully she can find someone who will be able to give her the look she wants although she does a pretty good job herself I might add. She is great with her own hair and makeup but I understand.
Well, I am off to finish my coffee before the rest of the world wakes up. Have a beautiful Sunday. :)

Friday, August 21, 2009

Glimpses of my busy life

Hello friends. I have been quite busy these days and I would like to ask forgiveness from all that I am behind on visiting your interesting posts. I plan to get to that this weekend. I thought I would put together a small collage of sorts of the happenings of my life these days.

First, meet Harley, the wiener dog puppy. First let me mention that we already have a dog, Buster and a cat, Tigger. This is very important to the story. So, I am with our daughter Jackie last Saturday up in Elk Grove and she decides to check her emails on her iPhone. What does she get from Dad?? A "Meet Harley" photo. Now, I don't know how to make a long story short on this one so bare with me. My husband works on Saturday mornings at a small scale Mexican flea market as an Armed Patrol Guard. EVERY stinking Saturday he manages to bring something home. I told him he was not allowed to work this detail any more. He didn't listen. Anyway, I told her to reply "Harley better be visiting". Now, the reason I say this is because just the DAY BEFORE we had this long conversation about NOT bringing any more animals into the house. We would NOT replace our animals after they died etc...we are tired of dog and cat hair etc. Our animals are self sufficient, and can take care of themselves. Life is good right? WRONG. He tells our daughter that it is a gift for me and if I don't want it our son Nick will take it. So, what did I do? I got pissed, really, really pissed. I called Nick and told him he could have the dog as we don't need another animal. Life was good again.....

Until Sunday...., hubby and I go to visit the baby and since Nick was "dog" sitting too, Harley. Nick lives with Alicia and her mother. First thing her mother said to me was, "you ARE taking the dog back home with you right?" Sure thing I told her, arrrrrrrrgh. Not a problem, totally understand your not wanting TWO dogs. All this with a big bright smile on my face.

So I told Gerry that this would be a trial and that it was HIS dog and HE had to do EVERYTHING since he did not discuss this with me first. People don't bring animals into the home without talking about it first. I had explicitly said the day before that I did not want another animal . So for the week he has been cleaning up, feeding, you name it he does it and I only play with her. Forgive me if it sounds mean but puppies are like babies and they need lots of attention and care and he just thinks she is so cute. Well cute grows up and gets bigger! Like the chickens, ducks, mice and other things he has brought home for the kids because they were so small and cute. Jury is still out as to if we keep her or not.

This is baby Audrina, 1.5 weeks old, isn't she beautiful? She is wearing Jackie's favorite colors and sleeping on a quilt that Auntie Jackie made!

Nick and I having a "moment"

Nick giving Audrina her first bottle. Hal mark moment.

Jackie and her fiance Brian captured in a relaxing moment. The wedding is two months away! And, Jackie got word today she is going to Guam in September for a week for her job. What a lucky dog she is.

Nick, Alicia and their daughter Audrina. First family photo.

Thank you for stopping by and sharing in my busy life. :)

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

A New Baby is Born!

Today at 7:30am we welcomed our new granddaughter Audrina Faith into the world. She was due this Saturday but she couldn't wait that long she wanted to join the family early. She weighed 6lb 13oz, 19 in long and has brown hair. Her mother Alicia was such a trooper. We made two trips to the hospital yesterday, 7am and 4pm dilated to 2cm before we came back at 10pm for good. Some of you may not know this but we have a pizza parlor in Antioch called Skipolinis Pizza. They have a "Prego" pizza and if you eat this pizza you may go into labor within 24 hours. It is very famous for this and even the nurses and doctors say to stop by there for dinner, lol. Well, we all went there yesterday at 6pm and she had 2-3 pieces and was admitted at 10pm and by 1am she was 5cm. This girl pushed this baby out in 20 minutes flat! and the rest is history.

I am soooooooooo tired. I am not used to being up for more than 24 hours so now I am going to sleep.

Please look at our beautiful granddaughter just moments old, they are not in any particular order.

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